The Session #66, and the Best and Worst Beer Art of July

So I've been off Sessions for a few months, but I want to get back on the proverbial horse, and this month's is fairly contained. Craig at DrinkDrank asked us what, if we could design our one perfect beer, it would be, assuming brewing skill and reality was no limitation. So here's mine:

ABV: 4.5 (so everyone would agree it's a session beer)
Hoppiness: Big and citrusy, but not cloying
Color: Ruby red
Sour: Yes. Bretts everywhere
Finish: Kolschy, round but crisp and clean

So it's a Sour Red Session Lagered IPA. If anyone makes this...

Onward, to lots of beer art. July was an interesting month. We saw some real ups and real downs from some familiar faces.

First, the good folks at Prism released the art for Love Is Evol:

Very cool hand-drawn demonic heart that gets across the love/evol dichotomy. Font's a little hard to read, there's too much orange and not a big enough frame, but still great art. I like the rainbow referencing the Prism idea as the backdrop, as well. Quirky and distinctive, with some interesting and new ideas.

Then Prism also put this out:

Hey, get it?! Red beer=redheads! Breasts! FOOTBALL!

Not quirky or distinctive or interesting or new. Just lame. Do better.

More good, from familiar faces:

Another new label from Weyerbacher, this piece combines the characters from other labels. We have the Monk, the scarecrow, and of course the Jester, all bundled up for the winter. That snowman is happy.

Jeez, man, playing favorites. Prism, Weyerbacher... all we need now is more work by Stillwater's Lee Verzosa--

Oh. Well, ok. This one is brewed in Italy at Extraomnes, and it is a typically gorgeous piece. I don't love the dog, but they had to get the Italian brewery's logo in there somehow, and at least it doesn't get in the way of the crumbling tower of Babel. So awesome.

But did anyone do anything terrible? Well, we have this classy little piece by Hillcrest Brewing Company:

Nothing says "craft" like using the word "crotch" in your beer's name.

How about more stupid frat-boy chauvinism? Thanks, O'so Brewing Company:

Oh, so you're an idiot. Get it?!

 But, you know, there's just not enough bad sophmoric puns there (outside of the caption). Can you help us, Southern Oregon Brewing aka SOB?

When even your own moose is tired of the joke, it's time to stop. Just stop.

Whew, thanks for taking care of that.